Speaking it out

  Being adopted is tough, and especially so in a country where adoption is still a nascent concept and where the only type of adoptions are closed adoptions. Even more so when adoptees are rare. For one, I don't know a single one in my friend circle (or even my acquaintance-circle!) It can get extremely lonely, yes. I tried recently to speak about my feelings to social workers. Big mistake! As they generally facilitate adoptions, they are biased towards it being a great thing, and tend to view it as an amazing thing, a tidy little solution to a three-party problem (the birth mother who needs to place her child in a loving home, the child who needs a home, and the adoptive parents who want a child.)

  Unfortunately, all social workers sound the same to me. It can get extremely frustrating. See, they don't view adoption as potentially upsetting situation for the adoptee. And, the adoptees who voice their feelings of turmoil get labelled as 'emotionally disturbed' and 'in dire need of counselling' etc. No one takes it seriously. All I ask is for respect for our sentiments and the decency not to classify us in rigid little compartments.

The social workers told me some nonsense like :

- that I should continue writing ( I write), and eat and sleep enough (Thankyou very much, I'm 17, I think I know that.)

- that it's a phase and it will pass (okay fine, but what am I to do till it passes? Just wait? Impossible! And to me, it doesn't feel as if it is going to pass)

-that I should accept it (why should I?? It's unfair. It's like punishing someone who has done no wrong and expecting him to accept it!)

-that I should forgive my birth mother (this has nothing to do with her, it's about me and my feelings and my pain, it has nothing to do with her so just drop it!)

Have any of you felt the same, or experienced the same?