Another mothers' day gone by

  The two days in the year I dread the most are my birthday and mothers' day. They both are meant to be 'happy' days, but they both remind me of my biological mother. Both days, therefore, are spent in pretending to be happy, trying to keep up with everyone's enthusiasm and in trying hard to appear merry and carefree. If only.

  It's hard for my parents to understand where I'm coming from, with these periods of depression. My mother lost her mother when she was only 19, and my father lost his father when he was approximately the same age. And, both of them are doing well today. They probably wonder why I am acting this way. They can't fathom how a child with two loving adults to call mom and dad could possibly feel anything lacking in his/her life. And, honestly, after knowing their story I feel like an idiot. I have it much better than they did in their time. Really, what are you complaining about?

  Nothing is more awkward than trying to explain to my parents why, then, I'm feeling this way. I sound as if I'm trying to justify this slump I'm going through currently, but I'm not! And though they give me a patient hearing, caring and loving as always, I can't help feeling weak in my betrayal to them. And...God, this is hard.