A drowning soul - an expression of my rage and frustration

  Immersed, only salty sea water for miles in every direction. Struggling to breathe, thrashing against the treacherous white-capped, demonic waves. Lashing furiously with every last ounce of my strength against the roughness. How can anyone so lost feel anything but fear? Like hell, I don't. I hear nothing but the angry pounding inside my head. Rage turned inwards sears every fibre of my body. The frailty of my body and mind repulses me. A soul that wants to dive into the sky is cruelly contained, chained to this base and incapable physical form. Salt water everywhere singeing my skin raw. The red rawness I carry with me everywhere goes unseen under my facade of sanity. My mind, torn, cleaved like the Red Sea which by Moses was. What does it matter where you stand, you're only a slave to your demons. You are but enslaved by the raging battle within. I'm at the mercy of conflicting emotions and raw anger, anguish and ambition are my cruelest tormentors. I am consumed by aching numbness, weary of the fight. Aim for recognition, and it slips by you to someone undeserving; aim higher than that - to excellence -  and be crushed by disappointment to learn that the world applauds talent, yes,  but ultimately seems to  reward conformists who follow the rule book like the Bible. All around heat, blood, salt water and empty blue-gray skies. Choking on the metallic taste in my mouth, savouring the tug of the seaweed coiling itself round my neck, whipping my shoulders, cutting into my flailing arms. Stinging saltwater in my eyes and mediocrity all around me. Where can the pain inside me be allowed to explode? External beauty fails to inspire as much as the deadening rawness within. Give me a chance to turn it into something beautiful. Set fire to me now, let the fire outside and within me be one.